An ‘Arranged’ Arrange Marriage …

I am a 21 year old woman, belong to Varanasi (UP). I just completed my BSc from BHU, Varanasi and my parents decided that I should get married now. I was pretty much convinced with the decision, as I had already wasted 2 years after my 12th in preparation of various medical examinations. I rejected the first two guys for some or the other reasons. The third one rejected me because he thought I was too short for him. The Fourth! was the best. He was a Software Engineer working for an MNC in Bangalore. He belonged to Allahabad and was from a very good and educated family. He was certainly very busy, So we had to video chat for our first meet. On Skype! The experience was good, We both, kind of liked each other. 

Now there comes the traditional Indian Problem, I was asked for my decision right after the Chat. Obviously! I asked for time and What I got was ‘one full night’ to decide. Ironical India! You get 8 hours to decide your future life partner, Whereas you get 2 full years just to try for an entrance exam.

My heart liked him, I listened to my heart and said Yes. Soon the trend of sweets,  well wishes, shopping started. The families discussed and our engagement was set in Allahabad, one month later. For this one month, we had regular talks, Skype, Calls, Whatsapp, we were totally into each other’s lives. On the Engagement day, I met him for the first time and damn! He was taller than his parents mentioned. And he looked like a movie star. He was smart, Handsome. It was love at first sight. Not even for a second I regretted my choice. But Mr. had to go back the same night.

Our marriage was fixed four months later. We used the time well. His calls were increasing, I just loved it. I was enjoying these days of my lives. Good Morning to Good Night, we had regular chats. I also got to know about his severe addiction to alcohol. But he promised that he will quit it after marriage. 

Suddenly in the middle of July he started avoiding me, ignoring me very badly. His phone was often switched off, he used to cut my calls, stopped replying on whatsapp. I got really much tensed. I wanted to inform his parents, but was too scared.

Then after 4-5 days, I received a text. The text was:

"Are you a Virgin?"

I was shocked, where did that came from? But, I was very scared So, I gathered my courage and replied back "Yes, but what happened? Why were you avoiding me? Has anybody told you anything about me?"

He didn’t reply that message But started picking my calls, yet never spoke wholeheartedly. I asked several times, but he always ignored. I was really depressed and worried. But then, my parents had already spent so much on this marriage, so I couldn’t say or do anything that would hurt them. Finally we got married. And he was gloomy throughout the occasion. Didn’t seemed much happy or excited. We didn’t even talked much.

I went to his place. The bed in our room was really decorated, like the one you see in movies. Flowers, Sweet Essence, Dim lights. Finally we got to bed around 12. He was still not talking. Frankly, I was shy too but I really craved for physical intimacy that particular moment. 

I asked the reason for his weird behaviour. He didn't spoke a word. Suddenly he started crying loudly. He said he had committed a severe mistake. I consoled him that we could solve it together. He asked me to promise him one thing. I was totally into my new marriage, So I agreed. But then came his other condition, He said that he will tell me everything on reaching Bangalore but before that I should not ask him anything.

We left for Bangalore after around a week. During all these days, no physical connection was shared between us. 

After reaching Bangalore he told me that he had lost huge sums of money while betting on football matches after getting drunk.  The amount was around 25 Lakhs. That was really a huge amount for both of our families to pay back. But, What he told me after that, was the most disastrous thing that I ever wondered in my life. He had bet my virginity.

He had bet my virginity against 2 lakh rupees, The same night when he asked me about the same. I was speechless, motionless and expressionless. I didn't know, How to react. He said that this guy Aamir wanted me to sleep with him and lose my virginity to him. I was devastated.

My mind was totally blank, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go back home and I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. But then, family, my sister, everything came to my mind. 

But, sleep with a stranger, because my fiancé thought he owns me? NO.

I was completely broken. My first day in Bangalore gave me the worst news of my life. I just cried and slept. Someone came in at the evening. Two people. I was under my blanket. Suddenly I felt someone entering. Then a guy put in his hands in my blanket. I shouted aloud. They got a bit scared, those people were having an argument with my husband. They finally left after 20 minutes. I was still in a state of shock, Locked myself into the room. I never let my so called “husband” in. 

I called up my parents informed them everything. They contacted one of our relatives in Chennai, they came the next morning, picked me up and took me back to Varanasi. We have  filed a police complaint, formally filed for a divorce.

My father spent almost 70 percent of his savings on my marriage. Now, lawyer fees and other expenses. What wrong had I done?

I will be considered as some 'witch' now. Why? People and the police say that I am doing this for his salary. Would I risk the respect of my parents, my sister’s marriage and my entire life for a software engineer's half salary?

-- Based On A True Story

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